So, it's one of those days. I feel pretty apathetic and really can't see any point in getting out of bed. I felt like this yesterday, and the day before, but people did manage eventually to drag me out the house.
I've been upset at one particular person, and even this morning they just left half way through talking with no word of goodbye or anything and I don't understand why - they know how bad it makes me! It just keeps happening over and over again and I just want to to scream, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!" but that won't solve any thing and there's a hell of a lot wrong with me.
The thing is, it doesn't just makes me upset, it totally fucks my head up. I can't think straight, I feel so incredibly angry all throughout my body that I just want to scream and at the same time I'm breaking down a bit inside just wanting to cry. I don't understand and it confuses me so much why someone would keep doing this to me. Is it really so hard to end a conversation if you care about them? To reply and not just walk away? It makes me feel forgotten and entirely unimportant. I just then get into thinking, "what's the point, what's the point in anything, what's the point in talking to you, what's the point in talking to anyone" and all I want is to be alone, but really all I want is for them to be there in the first place so I don't have to wish I was alone.